Day 35 – When Leadership Breaks Your Heart

May 5, 2026 — Tuesday

Tuesdays start the same way.

Prayer.

Every request from the congregation…

Laid out across the stage.

We walk up…

Pick one…

Sit down…

And pray.

But Today Felt Different

Heavy.

One after another:

• healing

• struggling marriages

• thoughts of divorce

• division in homes

It just kept coming.

And I found myself sitting there…

weeping.

Because it wasn’t just prayer requests.

It was real lives.

Real families.

Real pain.

When It Gets Personal

I don’t read those requests as an outsider.

I read them as someone who’s lived it.

My parents separated when I was two.

And whether people realize it or not…

Divorce doesn’t just affect two people.

It echoes through generations.

It shapes:

• how you see love

• how you see commitment

• how you see family

For a long time…

I didn’t want marriage.

I didn’t want kids.

Because in my mind…

That path led to pain.

The Pattern I Keep Seeing

So many of these stories…

Follow a similar path:

• Built on emotion

• Built on pressure

• Built on circumstance

Not built on truth.

People get married because:

• “it’s what you do”

• there’s a child involved

• there’s social pressure

• it feels right in the moment

But no one really stops to ask:

What is marriage actually meant to be?

Contract vs Covenant

The world treats marriage like a contract.

If it doesn’t work… you exit.

But God designed it as a covenant.

Something deeper.

Something binding.

Something sacred.

“The two shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

That’s not casual.

That’s not temporary.

That’s transformation.

The Picture That Changed Everything For Me

When my wife and I were in premarital counseling…

My pastor drew something I’ll never forget.

Two people…

Moving closer to God.

And as each person moves closer to God…

They naturally move closer to each other.

Not forcing connection.

Not chasing each other.

But aligning upward first.

What I Didn’t Understand Before

Love isn’t:

• attraction

• emotion

• chemistry

Not at its core.

Real love is sacrifice.

The Bible calls it:

Agape love

A love that gives.

A love that serves.

A love that lays itself down.

The same love God has for us.

Why This Hit Me So Hard

Because I know what happens when that foundation isn’t there.

I lived the result.

And sitting there…

Reading those prayers…

It wasn’t theoretical.

It was personal.

But Here’s The Hope

Even in all of that pain—

I know this:

God can heal anything.

Because He healed me.

The same pain that once shaped my identity…

No longer defines me.

The same fear that once told me:

• don’t get married

• don’t have kids

Has been replaced with:

• purpose

• clarity

• restoration

The Shift

I used to look at marriage through brokenness.

Now I see it through design.

And there’s a difference.

A New Realization About Leadership

This morning showed me something:

Leadership isn’t always strategy.

Sometimes…

It’s heartbreak.

Feeling what others are going through.

Carrying it in prayer.

Standing in the gap.

The Weight of What’s Ahead

I know at some point…

I’ll be sitting across from couples:

• on the edge

• hurting

• unsure

• ready to walk away

And I don’t take that lightly.

Because I’ve seen:

• what happens when it breaks

• what it does to children

• how long the effects last

The Prayer

God, give me the words.

Not my opinion.

Not my experience alone.

But truth.

Because truth is what restores.

The Anchor

“What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

Closing Thought

Today reminded me:

You don’t step into leadership because you have all the answers.

You step into leadership…

Because you’re willing to feel what others are going through.

And still show up.